Do you know how hard it is to write those 2 sentences? A decade ago, I wouldn't have dreamed it. And even now its a stretch to admit it, even when I know with every fiber in my being that it is true. This is what its like being a professional woman today. We are constantly fighting mixed messages. Its no wonder why we don't feel like we know the next steps to be successful in our careers and why we all feel plagued with the imposter syndrome. We are taught to play nice, get along, don't stand out. But some of those characteristics do not align with society's perception of leaders. More importantly, these attributes do not allow someone to get recognized as having leadership potential, which is really the key to being able to USE those skills to benefit an organization.
Do you know what has been on my end-of-year feedback every year since I started my professional career? For those that like numbers, thats 17 years now.... "Communication style is too blunt, direct, opinionated" Some variant of that. Do you want to know the skill I'm most proud of? THIS ONE. I've honed my communication style to a razor sharp-edge, and weld it with precision and confidence. Am I still direct? Absolutely. However, I prefer to classify my communication style as succinct and efficient. I'm also very empathetic and I am usually perceptive when reading my audience, so I can adapt the directness of my message as appropriate. Thats what 17 years practice at your "weakness" gets you, a focused strength. You know what else? I've probably had a dozen other leaders reach out to me over the past several years to mentor their employees (usually female). Specifically they ask me to "teach her how to use her voice". That feels like sweet justice to me.
Another title that comes along with women that are growing in their successes at work "quickly"? Career climber. Someone mentioned to me in the last year that they'd overheard me called this. I can't tell you how shocked and hurt this made me feel. Anyone that has read this blog can probably tell there was no planning or pre-meditation in my career path to-date. Just circumstance, decision, circumstance, decision. My career lean-in truly started with the catastrophic event of my divorce, and from my perspective, I didn't even really have a choice. All along the way since then, I've assessed each new role to see if it was going to grow and engage ME and what would be the impact of the role on me/my family. One of the hardest things about careers is taking on new roles and then being willing to un-take them if they don't meet your needs or if you can tell you aren't meeting theirs. One thing I tell every person I mentor is to figure out the right role duration for you. I've found 2 years to be a good measure for me, I spend the first year learning and the second year improving/training my replacement. Its long enough for me to stay fully engaged and giving my all, while short enough that I can still enjoy doing the not-fun aspects of the job.
So why do I think I'm a good leader? Because I'm not afraid to make and own the "decision". I've come to realize that being a decision maker is actually really hard for most of the population. This is another one of weaknesses cited in my past performance reviews that is truly one of my strengths. I think the key to being the decision maker is in the owning though. I accept that I will not always make the right decision. But I also know that my team is strong enough to handle the consequences of my incorrect decisions. I work hard to get everyone onboard with the decision (which is usually based on the data my team has provided), I continually communicate the WHY and if I have the ability, I'll work to coordinate a backup plan B, C, D for if the initial decision doesn't work. This helps the team have faith in me as a leader and concurrence with the starting decision, because we've had the forethought to plan in alternative paths.
So yeah, the moral here after a lot of soul-searching on my career this summer? I am a leader. And a damned good one. And if that means I'm a career climber too? So be it. I hear those V.P.s have pretty nice offices and I'm ready to grow my skills to get one. I feel I bring a perspective and a voice thats needed.
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