WHEWWWWW...
This has been a hell of a ride!!!! 4 short years ago, my life was completely flipped on its head by divorce. I spent a solid 6 months recovering myself enough to be a functioning adult and parent again. I then recognized my near-term goals were the following:
1) minimize the impact of the divorce on my kids,
2) re-engage at work or find employment that I was passionate about.
These 2 goals guided me into the career fast-track. I had an "interview" for a TPM position, where I asked for the hardest program they could find. This landed me with a gig as TPM for the Embraer KC390 Avionics development, which put my learning curve into overdrive. I can easily say this assignment was hands-down the most challenging and biggest growth experience of my career to-date. As a technical project manager, your job is to "be glue". You work magic coordinating/leading 120 people and ensure everything comes together smoothly to meet customer deliveries. What this really means is your job is composed of meetings from 7-5pm every day holding people accountable to their programmatic commitments in a way that isn't overbearing (and sometimes requires night/weekend support to work slide decks for upper level leadership so they are aware of how things are going). Sounds easy doesn't it? :o) I supported this program for 2 years, and honestly I was nearing burnout when another "opportunity" arose.
An opening became available for a department leader position within my organization. And you know what? Given my awareness that I was nearing burnout, I wasn't even going to apply. But I had several folks reach out to me to ask why I hadn't applied. And then I went to a girls night out with a group of ladies in all stages of their careers. It included women that were trying to break into this level of leadership and women that had turned down the opportunity when it arose and never got the chance again... The next day, I applied for the position. Flash forward a month and I got a call enroute home from our family vacation to Montana. I pulled over at a rest stop to have a small freak-out moment and with both excitement and trepidation, I accepted the role.
Where the TPM role was constant fire-fighting high stress, the department leader role is a constant slow burn that never turns off. The reality is when you are a leader, you are ALWAYS a leader, ALL the time. This can be a draining experience. What I didn't account for is the impact this very large role would have outside work. Over the past few months it has become very apparent to me that, given my life phase, this role isn't the right fit for my work/life balance. Where my originating 2 guiding principles were focused around my kids and myself, this role wasn't filling either of those needs. In fact, Bella, on more than one occasion in the past few months has mentioned comments like, " Mom, you're always mad." Or "You seem really stressed out".
Sigh. From the mouth of babes.
So... What to do? I've worked at RC for almost 17 years and because RC has always worked with me over my career to adjust as needed for work-life balance, I have remained very loyal to them as an employer. This circumstance seemed like no exception. So I drafted a quick plan, in which I pitched a role that I felt I could still add value to the organization while I got some needed breathing space.
And you know what? My employer said yes. :o)
So starting in January, I'll be going part-time, as the focal for training for all of GS engineering. Granted, this isn't a "small" job. But it IS a job I am incredibly passionate about. So its time to slow down a bit, focus on my own engagement and life balance. And 4 years from now when my kids are off to school? Watch out! I'll be coming back in full Chrissy glory!
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