So I signed up on OkCupid a few weeks ago, yet another in the series of online dating options that seems to be the norm for 21st century dating. Can I just say how much I hate "first dates"? UGH.... That exciting but uncomfortable dance between potential mates where you are continually on your toes trying to avoid faux pas, while navigating the unknown territory of learning someone new?
I got another "opportunity to practice" this weekend, with a dinner and movie date option. I could tell within the first 10 minutes that this would a be a one-time-only date. These dates are really the worst, where you are committed to enduring the next few hours with someone and you just kind of grin and bear it, because that's the polite thing to do. In reviewing last night's events, here's a few expectations I have drawn up as requirements for first-date success:
1. Dress up like you care. Odds are you've looked at my online profile a few times now, so you know I care about my own appearance at least a little bit. Do you think I'd have lesser expectations of you? Baggy 2x-your-size shirt/jeans/sneakers combo is not acceptable attire for a man in his early 40s on a first date.
2. Be on time (or gasp, early?) This shows you value my time and are interested in me. Making me feel like I'm front and center for you? This is the quickest way to earn a second date, bar-none. If I am not quite sure if you are second date worthy? This is my deciding factor.
3. Learn dating social cues. If you lean into me at the movie theater, and then make an obvious play of putting your hand on my lap for me to hold, please recognize I'm NOT an idiot. If I didn't grab your hand (OR if I shifted the other direction and then when you didn't pick up on THAT, I went to the bathroom?) this response means I'm NOT INTERESTED. And no, you do not need to then ask me when I get back from the bathroom if I'd like to hold hands?!? (Officially THE longest last hour of a movie EVER!!!)
Bleh... Not sure I can handle more than one of these a month.
Guess I will just be my own Valentine's date this year?? I will probably be the only single woman at 50 Shades of Grey, but at least I like holding my own hand!
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