I'm sorry, so sorry....
What is it about female DNA that causes us to instinctively want to apologize in a tense situation? Or even more frustrating, when we want to apologize for mistakes we didn't even make?? I am aware of this natural defensive mechanism and I still catch myself doing it. Bad Chrissy! I have an ingrained sense of politeness that will cause me to apologize in a situation and accept a portion of blame in order to diffuse it, part of my "being a team player" mentality. WTF? Its hard enough to have to deal with all the external customs/patterns of our ever-changing world. It becomes downright exhausting when you have to be just as diligent about fighting your own internal idiosyncrasies??
Both these behaviors I see in others far quicker than I recognize in myself. When I caught Bella apologizing for something trivial this past week, I realized I was setting a pattern for her by my own actions that I did not want to continue. So I sat down next to her and we talked about feelings. I explained that she should never be sorry for being who she is. I described how learning who you are is a lifelong process and there will be many mistakes along the way. I'd much rather hear "I understand where I went wrong and I'll do it differently next time" than "I'm sorry".
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