Thursday, February 26, 2015

I'm sorry... (NO, I'm not!)

I'm sorry, so sorry....

What is it about female DNA that causes us to instinctively want to apologize in a tense situation?  Or even more frustrating, when we want to apologize for mistakes we didn't even make??  I am aware of this natural defensive mechanism and I still catch myself doing it.  Bad Chrissy!  I have an ingrained sense of politeness that will cause me to apologize in a situation and accept a portion of blame in order to diffuse it, part of my "being a team player" mentality.    WTF?  Its hard enough to have to deal with all the external customs/patterns of our ever-changing world.  It becomes downright exhausting when you have to be just as diligent about fighting your own internal idiosyncrasies??

Both these behaviors I see in others far quicker than I recognize in myself.  When I caught Bella apologizing for something trivial this past week, I realized I was setting a pattern for her by my own actions that I did not want to continue.  So I sat down next to her and we talked about feelings.  I explained that she should never be sorry for being who she is.  I described how learning who you are is a lifelong process and there will be many mistakes along the way.  I'd much rather hear "I understand where I went wrong and I'll do it differently next time" than "I'm sorry".

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